Will I move to China?

*sigh*

It has been a while since I last blogged. Since I've graduated I haven't really done much but eat, sleep, watch tv and then start again. Perhaps it is the life? No worries, no responsibilities but on the down side I have £0 and money seems to be flying out of my purse..(metaphorically and literally as there is sadly a whole in it =| )

So far in my quest to realise what I want to do in life, I come to realise I still have no idea what to do with my life...the only thing I am sure of is that I hope to work in China for a year and teach English. Luckily enough, after months of persuading and pleading to my parents I think I can finally complete my application with Graduates2China. I just hope it isn't too late to find a great position and location with them. Considering that the academic year has already begun...well let's cross our fingers! Me not putting all my eggs in one basket also applied for the Generation UK programme with the British Council. Missing out on the teaching programme this one will allow me to work in China for 2 months in different industries like NGOs, Media, PR etc. So once I can get my reference from my professor I can finally send it off and head into the interview stage!! I'm praying that i'm lucky with them...if possible and if I am blessed enough I hope to get both! But that's just me being greedy...all I can do is prepare and cross my fingers!

An end to an era.

July 3rd 2013

I have officially moved back home to London, leaving behind numerous memories- the good and the bad.
Likewise, I leave a lot of items in the rubbish yet have managed to fill the entire boot and more of my parent's  Nissan Terrano. For those of you who know the sheer size of this car will have their mouth hanging open. BUT I have to admit, there was a freezer in there and also a bicycle. I have no  idea how my parents managed to pack all my things in there but they sure are miracle workers!!

But yes, I am now back home. It feels weird, knowing that I cannot just open my door and cross the hall to speak to my house mates. It feels weird not to be hearing the crazy screaming and conversations of them and it also feels weird that for the first time in 4 years I have to properly unpack, dust and rearrange the room I have not lived in for almost 4 years. Likewise, it is saddening that I know full well that I won't be driving up north in a couple of months :( but I guess it's the end of an era - end of my student life and therefore my entrance into the big working world ( a reminder I must actually apply to the jobs I have looked at).

But for now I want to live in the past, just that little bit longer.

Here's a little snap shot of our last night together at Kelso's a local club/ pub in Loughborough

Dinner with the bestie and bf- potentially the last meal at the best restaurant in Loughborough.

While we waited for the food to be served, we thought the best way to pass time was to take some funny pictures - well I thought it was and managed to spam up his photo gallery with my face 0:)

15 minutes later, this is what we devoured and loved. The food here is amazing, especially the desserts!!! 

Baby steps

Hello fellow bloggers and readers!

It has been far too long since I've lasted written anything for my blogs..it's really bad!

Well, my final year at University has just ended and I have no idea what to do with myself! I'm roaming around my house bored out of my mind, questioning what to do? Should I sleep? Exercise? Work on my CV? Look for jobs? The amount of time I have and the freedom should be making me happy but it isn't. I think in the back of my mind the one question that keeps bugging me is...'What's next then?'

What's next? Honestly, I have no idea! I honestly have no idea what I want to do with my life nor do I know what grades I will get at the end of the summer. I'm soo scared it's unbelievable...life of finalist right?

Final year has been something- full of late nights, lots of energy drinks and lots and lots of library visits. I will miss it. I am already missing it, if i'm truthful. I feel so restless, I feel like I should be revising or reading for an upcoming essay. BUT nope, I have no more essays to write, no more exams to revise for and no more classes to attend...I will strangely miss it. Just a tad.

But now what? What does someone do with a History and English BA?? (That's if I graduate that is..) - I can easily go into teaching I guess, but I do want to do something other than that..but what? I just keep looking on the internet and I feel my head is going to explode..so many options and so many decisions to be made...I kind of just want to restart my Uni life all over again and avoid ever looking for a job..doesn't anyone else? Maybe that's just be being a chicken of entering this so called big bad world of work. All I know is that I've completed my degree it's time to move out of Loughborough and move on with my life...baby steps.

Sunday..

It's currently 17:48 on a Sunday, which means tomorrow is Monday and the last week of term...

I find it so scary how one whole semester has flown by..that is 11 weeks have just disappeared in a flash. I question myself everyday about what I have been doing...I feel like I've done absolutely nothing at all. On a more happier note Christmas is around the corner :) the season to get fat, be jolly and spend time with the family!

Even though this holiday I will be working on my dissertation and essay I can rest in comfort I don't have a flight to catch like I did last year. I still cannot believe that this time last year I was in America, studying for my finals and  now I'm sitting in the  library at Loughborough. I find that the older I get the faster time seems to past...or is that just me being silly?

My goal for tonight is to write at least 1000 words for my chapter which means I have another 750 to go until my target is met.. Why on earth do I never learn, and why on earth do I procrastinate so much? I guess old habits die hard...

...

At the moment, it is what we call “dead week” where all the papers are due. However for me it was last week, where I had around 4 papers due in at the same time. But this also means that the final exams are only a week away, and I hardly feel prepared even with a prep sheet. Hopefully like last semester I will be able to pull through and get good grades! This Sunday will be the last shift I work and when I think about it I feel sad. I honestly cannot believe that my time in Purdue will be over soon. Friday will be the last classes I attend at Purdue and I cannot help but want time to stop. I cannot even pull myself to book my shuttle to the airport because I know once I do, I have to leave and my time here in the Purdue bubble will be over. When I think about my hesitation about Purdue last May I cannot help but laugh. This was the most life changing and valuable thing I could have ever done. The people I have met, the things I have experienced have all been worth it. I know I have made friends for life. Purdue will always be a special place to me.

Asian American studies

This semester I’ve been taking a module called “Introduction to Asian American Studies”. I choose this module because I thought it would be helpful to my dissertation and I was not wrong. Not only this, but I feel that it has also taught me more about my heritage and experiences other Asians have undergone. Although I am not personally an Asian American, the themes and issues that we have studied are all too familiar even within the UK. The stereotypes and generalizations that many have of Asians I have seen and been measured against. Even though I cannot expect people not to judge me for my skin colour, eye shape or even height I know they will. However, after learning about other people’s experience I think I can be more proud and confident in who I am. I have to say before coming to Purdue, I was not as interested in learning more about my Asian heritage nor have I felt so Asian in my life. But I feel that because of the people that I met here and courses like ASAM 240 I appreciate and value my Chinese heritage far more than I did in the UK.  For me “Asian America” does not have a specific definition. For me it highlights the umbrella of ethnicities, cultures, languages, experiences and stories that they have. Their stories of immigration, assimilation and more will have similarities to one another but each different and unique in their own right.

“I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself, and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”
― Marilyn Monroe